Most of us believe that the main thing during sex in the missionary position - not to snore loudly, so as not to wake the neighbors. In this connection the question arises: if this position is so boring, why do we still use it? After all, we, unlike residents of some American states, laws do not require to have sex solely for the pose of "man on top."
Nice to meet you
In order to gain a new friend, just look into his eyes and sincere smile. PhD Ludmila Gorodnicheva explains: this method works and about sex. Bonding with a man, we are faced with the need to find it again - preferences, temperament and habits. And the worry, like whether it yourself. A very important role in the process of "dating" is eye contact. The research, conducted at the University of Miami under the leadership of Steven Jansen and Rodney Wellens, they say that 43.4% of the time during which our attention is focused on the person, we pay his eyes. Because look - the most informative way to non-verbal communication.
Admit it, if during sex you will be facing the man back, you can not figure out what emotions he feels. That is why sex with a new partner is best suited missionary position.
Whence the name?
The modern name "missionary" position was in the 40-ies of XX century. For the first time he used the English ethnologist Bronislaw Malinowski had described the natives of the island lifestyle Trobriand. Orthodox missionaries who colonized the island, condemned the way the Aboriginal intercourse - the man behind ". The natives of the same, watching the sex lives of missionaries called this posture after them.
"In the" first time "I did it, using the most classical position - says Tanya (24). - It was awkward, shy, did not know how to behave. Boyfriend put me on his back, and after the foreplay to the point. So he could see the expression on my face and control the process to not inadvertently to hurt. " Their votes "for" the missionary position - as the most suitable for "first time" - give and physicians. Suzi Godson, an American journalist, in his book The Sex Book tells of a study conducted in the Netherlands: "To observe the male and female sexual organs in the missionary position doctors used magnetic resonance imaging. Captured images clearly demonstrated that in this posture samam interaction occurs in a natural way. " They proved that in terms of physiology the position of "man on top" is best suited for "first time". Ludmila Gorodnicheva explains the choice of missionary position is very simple: "First sex - is a kind of intelligence. Partners do not know about the tastes of another, and fear that some of their preferences will be perceived negatively. In order to not inadvertently alienate people, for the first time prefer the most neutral, having a public posture - a missionary. "
Psychoanalyst Vsevolod Agarkov explains why the classical posture contributes to emotional disclosure: "To the later evolutionary patterns of the human mind are those that are responsible for communication, the relationship of attachment and intimacy. Everyone needs to open another, to know that he empathize and sympathize. "
Obvious incredible
It's no secret that ordinary men feel more emotion when buying electronic gadgets than from watching a romantic movie with a glass of wine. And when it comes to more in-depth displays of affection, and did turn in on themselves. In fact, men are not so callous, but we just do not notice the manifestations of their emotions.
When you have sex in the missionary position, you probably focus on their own feelings. Thus, missed a good opportunity to consider and hear how the beloved expresses his feelings.
We are not animals, for whom sex - just a way of reproduction!
In fact, we are not animals, for which the sex - it's just a way of increasing the population. Missionary position allows us to look into each others eyes, to understand how the other is going through a contact with you. Pose of "man above" women prefer the open, which need a strong emotional connection with your partner during sex. "I like to see on the face of her boyfriend passion, hear his groans, I immediately feel wanted, - says Anna (24) - and if he lifts the strong arms of my thigh, demonstrating the power and primal instinct, I immediately feel an orgasm."
Missionary position is most convenient in terms of verbal and paraverbal communication. Words and sounds of passion, escaping from the depths of his soul, find the shortest path to the ears and hearts of the partner. Thus opens the wealth of proximity, it is possible to know the inner world of a beloved and your own. And you say - callous blockhead! Just sometimes need to be able to see, as in the attitudes of men appears tenderness, warmth and love.
Struggle for leadership
Why pose in sex when the woman on top, called the beautiful word "rider", but it's worth it to move to the "lower tier", as the name is changed to contempt, though delicious - "sandwich"? For the fact that missionary position got such a bad reputation, we must thank the American feminists.
Once women are tired of the fact that men suppress them in all spheres of life. And they began to assert their rights, including sex. Feminists have categorically rejected all the poses, where a man could show at least some hint of superiority.
In fact, the domination or subordination within sexual contact exclusively due to pose a partner and not by mutual desire - a myth created by uneducated people. Refute it would help us Sigmund Freud. He wrote that a person sex life is inextricably linked with the inner world, emotional experience.
During the flirting, foreplay and sex directly activated memories, fantasies, formed on the basis of experience of working in early childhood and into adulthood. From this and will depend on the pole of perception poses "a man above."
The fact that the man "from above", not to mention his superiority
Irina (29) explained why the missionary position acts on it depressing: "I've had a long relationship that did not bring happiness. My man does not care for me, was indifferent and did not respect me as a person. I always had him to prove that I deserve better. "
Ira could not cope with the hurt and since then considers men rivals. Subconsciously, this manifests itself in the sexual life - the missionary position, it does not recognize categorically perceives it as a way to dominance.
Ludmila Gorodnicheva explains: "A woman's personal life is going well, on the contrary, will have a positive attitude to the missionary position, as a manifestation of the authority of men. Here, a normal social setting, "a man should be stronger," "him, like a stone wall will cause a woman to positive emotions."
The uniqueness of missionary position is that everyone perceives it differently, depending on experience. For some people it is - a pledge of quality sex and someone will seem boring. Rebecca Archer, an American journalist, in his book The Missionary Position "wrote:" This position is a bit like tofu - on the one hand, it is very fresh, the other - you can always add seasonings to your liking. "
Metaphor accurately reflects the essence: the position imposed by the once all Christian missionaries, and then - the society, is now the basis of our sex life. And, certainly, in our power to make a choice - leave the intimate relationship boring and insipid, or "add spice" to get a sharp impression.
